Change Alley

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The Pollyanna Mantra

with 2 comments

I found this posted on an American ‘preparedness’ site, It sums up Joe Public’s ignorance of his relationship with his environment.

  • I have always relied upon the complex interdependencies of society
    They have never failed me in the past.
    They will, therefore, never fail me in the future.
    I do not need to prepare for any problems.
  • Meat comes to me in shrink-wrapped packages.
  • Vegetables have no dirt on them. They are always crisp and shiny.
  • Fish is a food product that has no bones.
  • Bread is neatly sliced and packaged. It Builds Strong Bodies Twelve Ways.
  • Potatoes are long, rectangular cubes that have salt sprinkled on them. I drive my car past a window to obtain them.
  • Light is provided to me 24 hours a day by glass bulbs. It is never dark.
  • Power for my appliances lives in the wall. I plug into it whenever I want to.
  • I have books. They are used for filling the empty space on my shelves.
  • Entertainment comes to me in a large box. It has many channels.
  • Sometimes I see wars in far away places on the box. Wars do not affect me personally. Wars are entertainment. Wars are not waged near where I live.
  • Heat comes to me as I turn up a thermostat.
  • Cool air comes to me as I turn down a thermostat.
  • Clothing comes to me pre-sewn, in my size.
  • When the county fair comes, I go to see the horses, cows, pigs and sheep. I do not know where they live after the county fair goes away.
  • Factories are far away places. They make things for me. I buy them.
  • I get to other places in marvelous vehicles that come to me in showrooms. I do not know how to build them, or to fix them.
  • My children are educated by people smarter than me. I have forgotten all I learned in school.
  • Peace is maintained in my neighborhood by good men in blue uniforms. They have guns. I do not. If I press 3 buttons on my phone, they will come and help me.
  • Medical assistance can also be obtained instantly, via the same three buttons.
  • My s**t does not stink. It goes down a porcelain hole. It goes away.
  • If anything goes wrong, I will look in the Yellow Pages and call someone to fix it.

Written by Pete Smith

January 24, 2007 at 9:21 am

Posted in Uncategorized

2 Responses

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  1. You mean its not true … godamn!


    January 24, 2007 at 10:11 am

  2. Depends what you mean by true. It happens, and this kind of thinking underpins ‘normal’ behaviour in the developed world. What isn’t true is that this kind of lazy, ignorant attitude can endure.

    Fetch me mah gun, and throw another MRE on the camp fire!

    Pete Smith

    January 24, 2007 at 10:44 am

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